A documented record of humor from ancient times to the present.

Writer, broadcaster, and wit Gyles Brandreth has completely revised Ned Sherrin's classic collection of wisecracks, one-liners, and anecdotes. With over 1,000 new quotations from all media, it's easy to find hilarious quotes on subjects ranging from Argument to Diets, from Computers to The Weather. Add sparkle to your speeches and presentations, or just enjoy a good laugh in company with Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Joan Rivers, Kathy Lette, Frankie Boyle, and friends. 'Now we have the World Wide Web (the only thing I know of whose shortened form-www-takes three times longer to say than what it's short for)' Douglas Adams 'Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends' Woody Allen 'Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight' Phyllis Diller 'Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit' Elizabeth Gilbert 'The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it' Terry Pratchett 'Retreat, hell! We're only attacking in another direction' American general Oliver P. Smith

This hilarious collection of humorous quotations, full of wisecracks and wit, snappy comments and inspired fantasy, has been specially compiled by the late broadcaster and raconteur Ned Sherrin, with a foreword by leading British satirist, Alistair Beaton. Now packed with even more quotes and covering more subjects than before, from Weddings to the Supernatural, Australia to Headlines. Find the best lines from your favourite jokesters and wordsmiths, add that extra something to a speech or presentation, or just enjoy a good laugh. 'A chair is a piece of furniture. I am not a chair because no one has ever sat on me.' Ann Widdecombe on the announcement that Parliamentary language will now be gender-neutral. 'No wonder Bob Geldof is such an expert on famine. He's been feeding off 'I don't like Mondays' for 30 years.' Russell Brand On deciding to run for governor of California: 'The most difficult decision I've ever made in my entire life, except for the one in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.' Arnold Schwarzenegger 'Wanting to know an author because you like his work is like wanting to know a duck because you like p--acirc--;t--eacute--;.' Margaret Atwood 'I am so sorry. We have to stop there. I have just come to the end of my personality.' Quentin Crisp, closing down an interview

American national trade bibliography.

“America is a land of wonders, in which everything is in constant motion and every change seems an improvement.... No natural boundary seems to be set to the efforts of man; and in his eyes what is not yet done is only what he has not yet attempted to do”—Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America (1835). “Americans will pay a big price for an invention that will help them save time they don’t know what to do with”—Anonymous. This collection of quotations—both serious and humorous—about America is divided into 19 main topics: The Nation, The American People, Places, Nature, Mind, The Individual, Human Relations, Social Life, Culture and Media, Literature and Language, Religion and Belief, Past and Future, History, War and the Military, International Relations, Politics and Government, Law and Order, Business and Economy, and Food. Each main topic is divided into subtopics; for example, “Culture and Media” has these: Architecture, Art, Charlie Chaplin, Dance, Fashion, Intellectuals, Marilyn Monroe, Movies, Music, Elvis Presley, and Television. The author attributes each quote to its speaker, author or composer, and wherever possible, provides the date of the quote and the name of the work in which it was published. In the case of uncertainty about the exact date of a quote, the author provides the birth and death dates of the person to whom the quote is attributed. Also included are a keyword and subject index and a speaker index.

This book examines stereotypical traits of women as they are reflected in Anglo-American anti-proverbs, also known as proverb transformations, deliberate proverb innovations, alterations, parodies, variations, wisecracks, fractured proverbs, and proverb mutations. Through these sayings and witticisms the author delineates the image of women that these anti-proverbs reflect, her qualities, attributes and behavior. The book begins with an analysis of how women’s role in the family, their sexuality and traditional occupations are presented in proverbs, and presents an overview of the genre of the anti-proverb. The author then analyses how this image of women is transformed in anti-proverbs, sometimes subverting, but often reinforcing the sexist bias of the original. This engaging work will appeal to students and scholars of humour studies, paremiology, gender studies, cultural studies, folklore and sociolinguistics alike.

A revised, enlarged, and updated edition of this authoritative and entertaining reference book —named the #2 essential home library reference book by the Wall Street Journal “Shapiro does original research, earning [this] volume a place on the quotation shelf next to Bartlett's and Oxford's.”—William Safire, New York Times Magazine (on the original edition) “A quotations book with footnotes that are as fascinating to read as the quotes themselves.”—Arthur Spiegelman, Washington Post Book World (on the original edition) Updated to include more than a thousand new quotations, this reader-friendly volume contains over twelve thousand famous quotations, arranged alphabetically by author and sourced from literature, history, popular culture, sports, digital culture, science, politics, law, the social sciences, and all other aspects of human activity. Contemporaries added to this edition include Beyoncé, Sandra Cisneros, James Comey, Drake, Louise Glück, LeBron James, Brett Kavanaugh, Lady Gaga, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Barack Obama, John Oliver, Nancy Pelosi, Vladimir Putin, Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump, and David Foster Wallace. The volume also reflects path-breaking recent research resulting in the updating of quotations from the first edition with more accurate wording or attribution. It has also incorporated noncontemporary quotations that have become relevant to the present day. In addition, The New Yale Book of Quotations reveals the striking fact that women originated many familiar quotations, yet their roles have been forgotten and their verbal inventions have often been credited to prominent men instead. This book’s quotations, annotations, extensive cross-references, and large keyword index will satisfy both the reader who seeks specific information and the curious browser who appreciates an amble through entertaining pages.

'A fool and his words are soon parted' wrote William Shenstone in 1764; one might add that 'A wit and his words are rarely collected'. Here is the antidote: a dazzling survey of the funniest remarks, quips and observations from Ancient Rome, the Bible and Chaucer right up to The Simpsons and Little Britain. Over 5,000 of the very funniest remarks to have appeared on paper since, well, paper was invented. The quotations are arranged thematically and cover all aspects of life: from the world we inhabit to the things we eat, smoke and drink; from the way we move around to what and how we learn - oh, and the pointlessness of football. There is a short biography of all of the authors in the book, a brief contextual note for each quotation and an index of keywords to help you find you chosen witticism quickly. But do not be over-hasty when you use this book: it is a browser's delight, and should be enjoyed at leisure.