Features short novels and story collections by ten of the leading authors in the bizarro genre.

Meet Manny. He's your average shut-in with a penchant for late night television and looting local fountains for coins. With eight locks on his door and newspapers covering his windows, he's a more than a bit paranoid, too. His wasn't a great life, but it was comfortable-at least it was until the morning he awoke with an egg between his legs. But what might have been a curse becomes a charm as this unlikely event leads him to all night diner, where he finds inedible pie, undrinkable coffee, and the girl of his dreams. But can this unexpected chance at love survive after the egg cracks and time itself turns against him, dead-set on rerouting history and putting a shovel to the face of the one person who could bring real and lasting change to Manny's world?

Thirteen years after a police officer searching a suspected child molester's home spilled a vial of silver pollen, America is still struggling with how to recognize its sentient fruit population. Charles is just a normal guy working at a doughnut shop until an apple and a banana shoot each other in a mafia dispute, leaving a briefcase full of foreign currency and a specimen bucket at the corner booth. When Charles turns the wiseguys into doughnuts and steals their luggage, hoping for a better life for himself and his kiwi fruit girlfriend, he finds himself in the middle of a mafia war. As his girlfriend travels the DC metro area, selling off the contents of the bucket, Charles finds he is the target of a seasoned hit-tomato, who happens to be the biggest Michael Jackson fan who ever lived.

Tony dreads the idea of going to his wife's company dinner party in Eagle Hills; the new upper-middleclass gated community that just popped up outside of Scottsdale, AZ. He hates these Southwestern-style planned suburban neighborhoods. All of the streets look the same. All of the houses look the same. All of the people look the same. Because everything in Eagle Hills looks exactly the same, Tony has trouble finding the dinner party. He quickly becomes lost in the sea of red tile roofs. The streets seem to go on forever. The addresses don't seem to make any sense. After hours of navigating the suburban labyrinth, Tony discovers that there is something terribly wrong with the Eagle Hills gated community. There is something unnatural about the houses around him. There is something inhuman about the people staring at him through the windows. And no matter how far he drives, he can't seem to find his way out. Ultra Fuckers is a work of absurd suburban horror in the tradition of Mellick's previous short novel, The Menstruating Mall.

Jack Orange is a twentysomething guy who works at a place called The Tent packing dirt in boxes and shipping them off to exotic, unheard of locales. He thinks about his girlfriend, Gina Black, and the ring he hopes to surprise her with. But when he returns home one day, Gina isn't there. He receives a strange call from a man who sounds likes he is smiling-- Mr. Grin. He says he has Gina. He gives Jack twenty-four hours to find her--Publisher's description.

A collection of the first two books in the Mountain King Series, including Eclipse of the Triple Moons and Zita's Revenge. Eclipse of the Triple Moons THEY WERE JUST PLAYING A GAME Four teenagers playing a real-life fantasy game in a Montana mountain cave find a portal to another world. Alpherge, Sherry, Lily, and Erik step through the shimmering portal, and find themselves in a strange world with three moons hanging low in the sky. As they explore this new world, they come across an ancient and powerful magical staff imbued with the ability to control elemental magic. But their adventure takes a turn for the worse when they learn that a ruthless dark sorcerer seeking to harness the power of the triple moon eclipse kidnaps their friend Lily. Vowing to save their friend despite the dangers, the trio sets out to rescue Lily, using the magical staff to overcome the many obstacles and enemies they face along the way. As they journey through enchanted snow-capped mountains, they discover a hidden strength within themselves and the true power of friendship. This fast-paced Young Adult Fantasy Action-Adventure story has many twists and turns and forces the teens to use their wits and abilities to save their friend. But, will they reach their friend before the sacrifice on the day of the triple solar eclipse? Zita’s Revenge The mysterious and treacherous world of Aloheno holds many secrets, but none as powerful and sought-after as the legendary golden crown. When high school students Erik and Al discover the crown's potential to open a portal back to Earth, they must battle against the vengeful Zita and her powerful magic to capture it. With the aid of the wise mentor Gadiel and the courage of their convictions, Erik and Al must confront their inner demons and resist Zita's wrath. Will they succeed in their quest, or will Zita triumph?

"...One snowy Christmas Eve, while visiting the Fry family, Sausagey Santa is attacked by an evil force that is driven to destroy Christmas forever. ...Santa calls upon Matthew Fry and his wife, Decapitron (a brutish warrior woman with a strange Christmas fetish and a candy cane sword), to help get it back and save Christmas for everyone."--Back cover.

Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees. When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs.