The Funniest People In Sports

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BOOK EXCERPT:

"The Funniest People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes About Sports" contains such anecdotes as the following: Umpire Beans Reardon once made a mistake. Richie Ashburn slid into second base and Billy Cox attempted to tag him. Beans yelled 'Safe," but at the same time he flung his arm in the 'Out" gesture. Mr. Ashburn asked, 'What the hell does that mean?" Mr. Reardon replied, 'Richie, you know you're safe. Billy, you know he's safe. But 30,000 fans see my arm. Richie, you're out." Figure skater Rosalynn Sumners has a tendency to put on weight. When she was skating for Disney, her contract required her to be weighed each week, and if she was three pounds over her desired weight, Disney fined her $10. After a while, Ms. Sumners began to stand on the scales each week with a $10 bill in her hand.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : David Bruce
Publisher : iUniverse
Release : 2005-08-01
File : 66 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780595366743


The Funniest People In Sports And Neighborhoods

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BOOK EXCERPT:

This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) Bob Zuppke coached the football Illini for years. In a discussion of football rules, someone described a play and asked whether the officials had made the right call. Before answering, however, Mr. Zuppke asked, "Which team made the foul-Illinois or the other one?" 2) At a Westminster Dog Show in Madison Square Garden, a woman was selling an expensive coat made for dogs. Saying "We want her dog to look as smart as madame," the saleslady held up a pink cocktail coat made out of embroidered silk with a lining of mohair. Sportswriter Robert Lipsyte asked her, "When would a dog wear that?" The saleslady replied, "After five o'clock." 3) Shannon Martin was six years old when she won an age-12-and-under roping contest, for which she was written up in the "Roping Sports News." Because she hadn't learned to read yet, she kept saying to her father, "Come on, Dad. Read it again."

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : David Bruce
Publisher : Lulu.com
Release : 2006-11
File : 239 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781430300304


The Funniest People In Books And Music

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BOOK EXCERPT:

"The Funniest People Who Write Books and Make Music" contains such anecdotes as these: When Peg Bracken started writing, she would often type the first page of a famous short story for inspiration. Often, she discovered that the page did not look as impressive typed on a sheet of paper as it did printed on a page in a book, so sometimes she would imitate her English professor and write on the sheet of paper: 'You can do better than this, Mr. Faulkner." Andri Previn played jazz with a couple of American-African musicians. Afterwards, he went into a diner, where two white men asked him, 'Why the hell don't you play with your own kind?" Mr. Previn replied, 'To tell you the truth, I wanted to, but I couldn't find two other Jews who swing." Soccer and Cup Final day are important in England. Once, the noted conductor Sir Thomas Beecham held a rehearsal on Cup Final day. The rehearsal had been going on for only a short time when a giant television was delivered to the rehearsal area. Sir Thomas then said, 'Now, gentlemen, let's get down to the most important business of the day-watching the match."

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : David Bruce
Publisher : iUniverse
Release : 2005-11-01
File : 135 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780595378982


Jason And The Argonauts A Retelling In Prose Of Apollonius Of Rhodes Argonautica

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BOOK EXCERPT:

Jason and the Argonauts tells the story of their quest to find the Golden Fleece. They sail from Greece into the Black Sea. With the help of the sorceress Medea, they succeed in getting the Golden Fleece but then have to sail back home. This myth is one of the most important myths of ancient Greece.

Product Details :

Genre : Fiction
Author : David Bruce
Publisher : Lulu.com
Release : 2014-10-23
File : 172 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781312139718


William Shakespeare S 1 Henry Vi Aka Henry Vi Part 1 A Retelling In Prose

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BOOK EXCERPT:

This is an easy-to-read retelling of William Shakespeare's "1 Henry VI." People who read this version first will find the original much easier to read.

Product Details :

Genre : Fiction
Author : David Bruce
Publisher : Lulu.com
Release : 2018-08-04
File : 164 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781365470189


From The Iliad To The Odyssey A Retelling In Prose Of Quintus Of Smyrna S Posthomerica

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BOOK EXCERPT:

Homer created the epic poems ""Iliad"" and ""Odyssey."" The "Iliad" tells only a small part of the story of the Trojan War. For example, the "Iliad" does not tell the story of the Trojan Horse although Homer knew about the Trojan Horse and assumed that his audience knew its story. Other, shorter epic poems that made up the Epic Cycle told the rest of the story of the Trojan War. The ""Iliad"" and the ""Odyssey"" have survived to the present time, but the other epic poems of the Epic Cycle have been lost since ancient times. Fortunately, Quintus of Smyrna wrote an epic poem that retold the tales recounted in the lost epic poems of the Epic Cycle. He told the story of the Trojan War from the end of the ""Iliad ""to when Odysseus sets sail for home in the "Odyssey" after Troy has fallen. In this retelling, as in all my retellings, I have tried to make the work of literature accessible to modern readers.

Product Details :

Genre : Fiction
Author : David Bruce
Publisher : Lulu.com
Release : 2014-10-23
File : 202 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781312139794


The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds Volume 1

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BOOK EXCERPT:

The doing of good deeds is important. As a free person, you can choose to live your life as a good person or as a bad person. To be a good person, do good deeds. To be a bad person, do bad deeds. If you do good deeds, you will become good. If you do bad deeds, you will become bad. To become the person you want to be, act as if you already are that kind of person. Each of us chooses what kind of person we will become. To become a hero, do the things a hero does. To become a coward, do the things a coward does. The opportunity to take action to become the kind of person you want to be is yours. ; ;This book collects 250 stories of good deeds from the arts, from religion, and from life.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : David Bruce
Publisher : Lulu.com
Release : 2007-04-01
File : 182 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781430314301


The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds Volume 3

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Genre :
Author : David Bruce
Publisher : Lulu.com
Release :
File : 150 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780557050376


The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds Volume 2

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BOOK EXCERPT:

This book collects 250 stories about good deeds, including this one: When the great 19th-century actor Sir Henry Irving discovered an old woman who needed money to survive but who couldn't work, he would hire her to take care of the cats in his theater. Later, he was going to hire an old woman to take care of the cats, but then he discovered that he had already hired three old women to take care of the cats. Therefore, he hired this old woman to take care of the three old women who took care of the cats.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : David Bruce
Publisher : Lulu.com
Release : 2008-11-01
File : 170 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781435701113


The Funniest People In Comedy And Relationships 500 Anecdotes

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BOOK EXCERPT:

This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) In his Answer Man column, film critic Roger Ebert answered a question by Matt Sandler about who was the world's most beautiful woman by saying that she was Indian actress Aishwarya Rai. In a later Answer Man column, a reader stated that Mr. Ebert should have answered the question by saying, "My wife." However, Mr. Ebert had a good reason for not answering the question that way: "Matt Sandler asked about women, not goddesses." 2) To advertise its Razzles candy, Mars Candy decided to use a Cleveland, Ohio, show in which comedian Ron Sweed, aka The Ghoul, hosted several mostly bad horror movies. The Ghoul criticized the candy for weeks, and the more he criticized it, the more its sales went up. In gratitude, Mars Candy delivered a case of Razzles to The Ghoul. The case of candy remained on the set of The Ghoul's show for year--unopened.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : David Bruce
Publisher : Lulu.com
Release : 2006-09-01
File : 214 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781847287809