The Stupidest Things Ever Said By Politicians

eBook Download

BOOK EXCERPT:

...A nonpartisan hall of shame featuring the idiotic utterances, ridiculous slogans, mixed metaphors, and lame excuses that have fallen from the mouths of our fearless leaders around the world, and from the present and past (because stupidity knows no age).

Product Details :

Genre : Political science
Author : Ross Petras
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Release : 1999
File : 292 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780671040536


Unusually Stupid Politicians

eBook Download

BOOK EXCERPT:

Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, bestselling authors of the scathingly funny Unusually Stupid Americans and Unusually Stupid Celebrities, now set their bipartisan sights on the hallowed halls of the United States government. Unusually Stupid Politicians exposes the mind-boggling but true political mishaps, missteps, and miscues that have even the savviest spin doctors shaking their heads and saying “No comment.” Sections include • Extreme Hairsplitting–such as when Florida governor Jeb Bush, after being accused of hiding in a closet from rampaging Democrats, denied the allegation completely, stating that “it was actually a boiler room” • Brilliant and Innovative Ideas from The Pentagon– like their groundbreaking "Gay Bomb," their "Bad Breath Inducing" halitosis weapon and their plans to enlist The Three Stooges in the fight against terror. • Creative Political Excuses——such as “I just discovered I’m Jewish and it’s a Holy Day,”——used by Senator George Allen, who, after learning of his Jewish heritage, got out of a Senate hearing to “observe” Yom Kippur • The Most Egregiously Large Political Egos–measured in standard Chuck Schumer Ego Units (CSEUs) This hilarious and eye-opening exposé gives awards for “How I Blew My Campaign” and “Worst Campaign Ad,” and shares a list of candidates “endorsed by God,” as well as a list of those who lost because of Satan. So turn off C-SPAN and quit text-messaging congressional pages–you’re about to learn what the definition of “is” is.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Kathryn Petras
Publisher : Villard
Release : 2009-03-12
File : 306 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780307498502


Republicans Do The Dumbest Things

eBook Download

BOOK EXCERPT:

Bill Crawford follows up his hit books Rock Stars do the Dumbest Things and Movie Stars do the Dumbest Things with a volume that reinforces what we've known all along - Republicans do the Dumbest Things. From George Bush barfing on the Japanese prime minister to Ronald Reagan's announcement of nuclear war, Republicans do the Dumbest Things is the first book to celebrate and catalogue the hilarious heritage of the GOP. This collection includes all the misguided actions, bizarre statements, and embarrassing moments of notable GOP members, including Bob Dole, Helen Chenoweth, Pat Buchanan, George W. Bush, David Duke, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, Rudolph Giuliani, Jesse Helms, Strom Thurmond, Richard Nixon, and Dan Quayle. Republicans do the Dumbest Things is the perfect book for Election 2000, a funny, edgy examination of Republican antics this is sure to be as controversial as it is entertaining. Democrats will love it. Republicans will hate it. And everyone will want it.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Bill Crawford
Publisher : Renaissance Books
Release : 2000-05-05
File : 180 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781580631730


Democrats Do The Dumbest Things

eBook Download

BOOK EXCERPT:

If you think you've heard every dumb thing they've said or done...think again! Outrageous indulgent, and downright dumb. That's right, we're talking aout the words and deeds committed by politicians, our favorite and least favorite people in the whole world. In this hilarious collections, it's he Democrats who step up to the mike, open their mouths, and insert their collective feet. Democrats do the dumbest things. Just ask any Republican who might wonder how Senator Ted Kennedy, whose legacy may have as much to do with his partying as with his party affiliation, kept his pants on long enough to serve the public. When Ted was photographed atop a twenty-two year old woman on a speed boat, a fellow senator quipped, "Well Teddy, I see you've changed your position on offshore drilling." You'll howl with laughter and wince in pain at the musguided actions, bizarre statements, and embarrassing moments of notable Democrats including Hillary Clinton, Jimmy Carter, Rev. Al B. Sharpton, Ed Koch, Gary Hart, Rev. Jesse Jackson, Jerry Brown, Lyndon Johnson, and of course, Bill Clinton. Find out the latest from presidential campaign 2000--namely what are Al Gore and local Democratic "loonies" doing to keep the "dumb hall of fame" from running out of members? Highlights include: After the Chicago Bulls won their sixth NBA championship in 1998 Vice President Al Gore gushed, "I tell you that Michael Jackson is unbelievable isn't he?" John F. Kennedy had this to say about aging: "There are two naked girls in the room, but I'm sitting here reading The Wall Street Journal. Does that mean I'm getting old?" Washington D.C. mayor Marion Barry once said, "Outside of the killing, we have one of the lowest crime rates in the country." These funny, edgy examinations of crazy political antics are sure to be as controversial as they are entertaining. Democrats will hate them. Republicans will love them. And everyone will want to read more.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Bill Crawford
Publisher : Renaissance Books
Release : 2011-04-01
File : 178 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781429972581


Unusually Stupid Celebrities

eBook Download

BOOK EXCERPT:

The Greeks honored Zeus, the Romans revered Juno, but modern civilization worships a different sort of god: Celebrity. Face it, we follow the stars’ every move, fashion choice, and deliciously dishy affairs. Now Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, authors of Unusually Stupid Americans, pull the demanding divas, screwball stars, and celebu-twits off their pedestals–and prove it doesn’t take a degree in rocket science to become famous. Cases in point: • Courtney Love misses an important court date relating to “possession of a controlled substance” because she can’t find a professional bodyguard at the last minute. • Mariah Carey’s entourage includes a skirt-from-touching-floor specialist, a towel hand-off person, and a professional drink holder/lifter. • Savvy traveler Paris Hilton concludes that all of Europe is, “like, French.” • Mensa candidate and rocker Tommy Lee is pretty sure that Winston Churchill was president during the Civil War, that the numeric equivalent of pi is “the two-equals-MC-squared thing,” and that an isosceles triangle is “somewhere in Bermuda.” Feuds, faith, family, money, sex, tantrums, travel–no star-studded stone is left unturned. Filled with jaw-dropping anecdotes, quirky quotes, and special stupid-celebrity awards, Unusually Stupid Celebrities provides a red-faced glimpse of the red carpet.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Kathryn Petras
Publisher : Villard
Release : 2009-04-22
File : 274 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780307498496


Unusually Stupid Americans

eBook Download

BOOK EXCERPT:

A hilarious collection of lists, statistics, news items, quotations, and facts detailing stupid acts of Americans from all walks of life—by the authors of the bestselling The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said Everyone knows that America is “the land of the free and the home of the brave,” but sometimes that means we’re free to be as bravely stupid as we want! In Unusually Stupid Americans, Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras assemble choice bits of stupidity, U.S.A.-style, including •the top seriously flawed American advertising moments, including Pacific Airlines’ brilliant “You’re scared of flying? So’s our pilot!” ad campaign, which led the airline to bankruptcy within two months of the campaign’s inception •the Martin Luther King, Jr., celebration in Florida, where a plaque was un-veiled that was intended to honor the actor James Earl Jones but instead read, “Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive” (an unfortunate slip-up, as James Earl Ray was King’s assassin) •and much more!

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Kathryn Petras
Publisher : Villard
Release : 2007-12-18
File : 305 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780307417619


The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said

eBook Download

BOOK EXCERPT:

A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and infamous figures past and present -- a complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Ross Petras
Publisher : Main Street Books
Release : 2010-12-08
File : 242 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780307764621


Here Speeching American

eBook Download

BOOK EXCERPT:

THE STRANGEST (AND FUNNIEST) TRAVEL GUIDE YOU’LL EVER READ The celebrated authors of the perennial bestseller The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said set the typical travel guide squarely on its head–taking you from the airport to the hotel, from sightseeing to dining out–by using 100 percent real examples of fractured English as spoken and posted abroad: • Feel like shopping? We have no good things to sell. –shop sign, Lovina Beach, Bali • Feeling sick? Are you haunted by the horribles? Do you run after your own nose? –Japanese medical form • Wondering what to wear? A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but no trousers. –in a French hotel brochure • Wondering where to eat? Grill and Roast your clients! Open for lunch, dinner and Sunday Brunch. –slogan of the Hibiscus restaurant in the Jakarta Hilton International But don’t take our word for it, come see for yourself. And if that’s too much to ask, remember the sage advice from the staff of a Taipei hotel: “If there is anything we can do to assist and help you, please do not contact us.”

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Kathryn Petras
Publisher : Villard
Release : 2004-10-05
File : 242 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781588364296


The Political Speechwriter S Companion

eBook Download

BOOK EXCERPT:

The Political Speechwriter's Companion: A Guide for Writers and Speakers guides students through a systematic “LAWS” approach (language, anecdote, wit, and support) that politicians can use to persuade their audiences into taking action. In the highly anticipated Second Edition, esteemed speechwriter and author Robert A. Lehrman has teamed up with one of the "go-to-guys" for political humor, Eric Schnure, to offer students an entertaining yet practical introduction to political speechwriting. This how-to guide explains how speakers can deliver: language the audience will understand and remember; anecdotes that make listeners laugh and cry; wit that pokes fun at opponents but also shows their own lighter side; and support in the way of statistics, examples, and testimony. Packed with annotated speeches from the most recent elections, technology tips, and interviews from speechwriting luminaries, this edition offers the most practical advice and strategies for a career in political communication.

Product Details :

Genre : Language Arts & Disciplines
Author : Robert A. Lehrman
Publisher : CQ Press
Release : 2019-07-17
File : 537 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781506387758


The Little Giant Encyclopedia Of Outrageous Excuses

eBook Download

BOOK EXCERPT:

Every time you mess up, you feel the need to make an excuse. If you're tired of offering the same old tired explanations, take your pick from this encyclopedic collection of hundreds of excuses you've never used before. They're organized into categories like medical emergencies ("I have a chemical imbalance"), weather ("the humidity swelled my door shut"), ancient proverbs ("nothing is inevitable until it happens"), and reasons that make no sense ("I did my own thing and now I have to undo it"). You can even pick the perfect excuse for particular people: boss, spouse, date, or cop. Serious excuse makers will appreciate the psychological interpretations of various responses, to make sure you pick the right one for every situation.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : David MacFarlane
Publisher : Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.
Release : 2006
File : 516 Pages
ISBN-13 : 1402719264