What do you call a dinosaur fart? A blast from the past! And why did the hero flush the toilet? It was his duty. These hilarious jokes that will make kids laugh while grossing them out at the same time.

How do fleas travel? They itch-hike! And what is a mouse's favorite game? Hide and squeak! Kids will love using these jokes to bug their friends.

What is a math teacher's favorite dessert? Pi! Kids will love making their classmates and teachers laugh (or roll their eyes) with these humorous jokes about school.

Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe! Because the world needs more dad jokes. Hundreds more. What are dad jokes? Short, family-friendly one-liners that often produce more eye rolls and groans from their audience than audible laughs. Anyone can tell dad jokes, but they are best told by dads. The World’s Greatest Dad Jokes: The Complete Collection is here, and inside you'll find: More puns, quips, and corny one-liners that are sure to get eyes rolling Hundreds of dad jokes that will make you groan—then make you smile. This book is jam-packed with clever quips and unbearable wisecracks that are so bad, they’re good. Now the dad joke aficionado in your life will never run out of puns, no matter how much you might want them to. The perfect gift for the dad who thinks he’s heard them all, this book is sure to add even more jokes to his repertoire, for better or worse. These jokes are so funny you won't even see them coming!

Laugh with dads, not at them, with over 160 hilarious knee-slappers and puns dads love to tell! A potato walks into a bar. All eyes were on him. This is just one example of the 200 hilariously hokey knee-slappers and puns in World's Greatest Dad Jokes. Tired of the same humdrum ill-fitting pants jokes, or jabs about turkeys being flightless birds? This perfect Father’s Day, Christmas or anytime gift will keep the dads in your life on the pulse of family-friendly corny humor that is all new and exclusive to this book. With this comically exhaustive resource on hand, everyone will be laughing with dads, not at them!

Balancing life as a vampire and human is harder than she thought… Ever since Sadie decided to hide her vampirism by masquerading as a normal sixteen-year-old high school student, her world has plunged into chaos. Still a clumsy mess who attracts trouble and embarrassment like bees to honey, she’s navigating a slew of challenges: the fallout from an explosive Homecoming queen showdown, knocking out the school’s newly returned golden girl in gym class, and falling head-over-heels in love with Cam, the supposed bad boy of the school. As a test subject in a secret experimental vampire program gone wrong, Sadie also has a target on her back. To erase all traces of the failed program, the elite vampire First Families want her dead and have gone to extreme measures to make it happen. Now Sadie must deal with a shadowy stalker who seems to relish the hunt, using her and her loved ones as pawns in a sinister game of his own making. Can she survive his schemes and protect her friends and family at the same time?

Have you ever had a bad week? Justin Chase sure has, and this is it! Just when he thought nothing could top the diabolical disasters and harrowing humiliations of Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday (Zombie Apocalypse, anyone?!) along comes . . . Sunday! It’s categorically the worst! There’s a catastrophic alien invasion and the fate of the entire planet rests solely on Justin’s shoulders. (And he can’t even do one push up!) Brace yourself for the cataclysmic conclusion to the global hit series.

This collection of travel books, essays, speeches, letters and autobiographical writings illustrates the other side of the man known as Mark Twain. Travel Books The Innocents Abroad Roughing It Old Times on the Mississippi A Tramp Abroad Life on the Mississippi Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World Some Rambling Notes of an Idle Excursion Essays, Satires & Articles How to Tell a Story, and Other Essays What Is Man? And Other Essays Editorial Wild Oats Advice to Youth Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offences Concerning the Jews To the Person Sitting in Darkness To My Missionary Critics Christian Science Queen Victoria's Jubilee Essays on Paul Bourget The Treaty With China, its Provisions Explained In Defence of Harriet Shelley Mrs. Eddy in Error Stirring Times in Austria The Czar's Soliloquy King Leopold's Soliloquy Adam's Soliloquy Essays on Copyrights Other Essays The Complete Speeches The Complete Letters Chapters from my Autobiography Biography Mark Twain: A Biography by Albert Bigelow Paine Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835-1910), better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. He is best known for his two novels – The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and its sequel, the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, but his satirical stories and travel books are also widely popular. His wit and satire, in prose and in speech, earned him praise from critics and peers. He was lauded as the greatest American humorist of his age.