The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said

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BOOK EXCERPT:

A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and infamous figures past and present -- a complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.

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Genre : Humor
Author : Ross Petras
Publisher : Main Street Books
Release : 2010-12-08
File : 242 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780307764621


The Stupidest Things Ever Said By Politicians

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BOOK EXCERPT:

...A nonpartisan hall of shame featuring the idiotic utterances, ridiculous slogans, mixed metaphors, and lame excuses that have fallen from the mouths of our fearless leaders around the world, and from the present and past (because stupidity knows no age).

Product Details :

Genre : Political science
Author : Ross Petras
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Release : 1999
File : 292 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780671040536


Stupidest Things Ever Said

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BOOK EXCERPT:

Not just stupidity, but obsessive stupidity! Not just random stupidity, but organized stupidity! Here, from the celebrated collectors of the stupidest things ever said, it’s the cre`me de la cre`me of stupidities, made even funnier and more compelling in an irresistible top 10 list format. Try one: The Top 10 Stupidest Actual Book Titles: 1. A Toddler’s Guide to the Rubber Industry 2. Constipation and our Civilization 3. Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers 4. The Secret of Sphincters 5. A Pictorial Book of Tongue Coating 6. Life and Laughter ’midst the Cannibals 7. Be Bold With Bananas 8. Hand-Grenade Throwing as a College Sport 9. Collect Fungi on Stamps 10. A Study of Hospital Waiting Lists in Cardiff, 1953–1954 Plus lost-in-translation moments. Doubles entendres. Political speeches, foreign menus, traffic signs. Celebrities on literature, on homelessness, on revealing too much about themselves. Mangled cliche ́s and bizarre analogies, the wit of the witless and comedy of the clueless—never before have so many said something so dumb, now in one book.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Kathryn Petras
Publisher : Hachette UK
Release : 2011-11-02
File : 443 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780761168683


The Dumbest Things Ever Said

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BOOK EXCERPT:

A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.

Product Details :

Genre : Reference
Author : Steven D. Price
Publisher : Rowman & Littlefield
Release : 2017-09-01
File : 353 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781493029433


Unusually Stupid Celebrities

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BOOK EXCERPT:

The Greeks honored Zeus, the Romans revered Juno, but modern civilization worships a different sort of god: Celebrity. Face it, we follow the stars’ every move, fashion choice, and deliciously dishy affairs. Now Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, authors of Unusually Stupid Americans, pull the demanding divas, screwball stars, and celebu-twits off their pedestals–and prove it doesn’t take a degree in rocket science to become famous. Cases in point: • Courtney Love misses an important court date relating to “possession of a controlled substance” because she can’t find a professional bodyguard at the last minute. • Mariah Carey’s entourage includes a skirt-from-touching-floor specialist, a towel hand-off person, and a professional drink holder/lifter. • Savvy traveler Paris Hilton concludes that all of Europe is, “like, French.” • Mensa candidate and rocker Tommy Lee is pretty sure that Winston Churchill was president during the Civil War, that the numeric equivalent of pi is “the two-equals-MC-squared thing,” and that an isosceles triangle is “somewhere in Bermuda.” Feuds, faith, family, money, sex, tantrums, travel–no star-studded stone is left unturned. Filled with jaw-dropping anecdotes, quirky quotes, and special stupid-celebrity awards, Unusually Stupid Celebrities provides a red-faced glimpse of the red carpet.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Kathryn Petras
Publisher : Villard
Release : 2009-04-22
File : 274 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780307498496


Republicans Do The Dumbest Things

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BOOK EXCERPT:

Bill Crawford follows up his hit books Rock Stars do the Dumbest Things and Movie Stars do the Dumbest Things with a volume that reinforces what we've known all along - Republicans do the Dumbest Things. From George Bush barfing on the Japanese prime minister to Ronald Reagan's announcement of nuclear war, Republicans do the Dumbest Things is the first book to celebrate and catalogue the hilarious heritage of the GOP. This collection includes all the misguided actions, bizarre statements, and embarrassing moments of notable GOP members, including Bob Dole, Helen Chenoweth, Pat Buchanan, George W. Bush, David Duke, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, Rudolph Giuliani, Jesse Helms, Strom Thurmond, Richard Nixon, and Dan Quayle. Republicans do the Dumbest Things is the perfect book for Election 2000, a funny, edgy examination of Republican antics this is sure to be as controversial as it is entertaining. Democrats will love it. Republicans will hate it. And everyone will want it.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Bill Crawford
Publisher : Renaissance Books
Release : 2000-05-05
File : 180 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781580631730


The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done

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BOOK EXCERPT:

*Too lazy to drive to his girlfriend's house, a man ties helium balloons to a lawn chair--and ends up at 15,000 feet, closing the L. A. airport. *A Chinese contraception program causes the birth rate to rise when men are discovered taking birth control pills and unrolling condoms over their fingers--exactly as shown in the training film. *A gang of Norwegian thieves carefully uses explosives to open a safe--only to find the safe is filled with dynamite. . . In the national bestseller The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said--over 200,000 copies in print--Ross and Kathryn Petras immortalized idiotic utterances by public figures and average citizens alike. But what about the doers out there, the people who didn't stop at speaking, but went right out and did something stupid instead? It's time to give credit where credit is due. The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done is a hilarious collection of inane incidents, senseless stunts, farcical feats, and utterly asinine activities from throughout history, and around the globe. From Sam Goldwyn to Walter Mondale, Albert Einstein to Fabio, the board of General Motors to British Parliament, this comic compendium chronicles the stupidest acts, ideas, decisions, inventions, songs, and ad campaigns that the mind of modern man has been able to devise. The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done is a non-stop barrage of belly laughs, conclusive proof that actions speak louder--and funnier--than words.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Ross Petras
Publisher : Main Street Books
Release : 2011-11-09
File : 177 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780307799364


Democrats Do The Dumbest Things

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BOOK EXCERPT:

If you think you've heard every dumb thing they've said or done...think again! Outrageous indulgent, and downright dumb. That's right, we're talking aout the words and deeds committed by politicians, our favorite and least favorite people in the whole world. In this hilarious collections, it's he Democrats who step up to the mike, open their mouths, and insert their collective feet. Democrats do the dumbest things. Just ask any Republican who might wonder how Senator Ted Kennedy, whose legacy may have as much to do with his partying as with his party affiliation, kept his pants on long enough to serve the public. When Ted was photographed atop a twenty-two year old woman on a speed boat, a fellow senator quipped, "Well Teddy, I see you've changed your position on offshore drilling." You'll howl with laughter and wince in pain at the musguided actions, bizarre statements, and embarrassing moments of notable Democrats including Hillary Clinton, Jimmy Carter, Rev. Al B. Sharpton, Ed Koch, Gary Hart, Rev. Jesse Jackson, Jerry Brown, Lyndon Johnson, and of course, Bill Clinton. Find out the latest from presidential campaign 2000--namely what are Al Gore and local Democratic "loonies" doing to keep the "dumb hall of fame" from running out of members? Highlights include: After the Chicago Bulls won their sixth NBA championship in 1998 Vice President Al Gore gushed, "I tell you that Michael Jackson is unbelievable isn't he?" John F. Kennedy had this to say about aging: "There are two naked girls in the room, but I'm sitting here reading The Wall Street Journal. Does that mean I'm getting old?" Washington D.C. mayor Marion Barry once said, "Outside of the killing, we have one of the lowest crime rates in the country." These funny, edgy examinations of crazy political antics are sure to be as controversial as they are entertaining. Democrats will hate them. Republicans will love them. And everyone will want to read more.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Bill Crawford
Publisher : Renaissance Books
Release : 2011-04-01
File : 178 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9781429972581


Unusually Stupid Politicians

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BOOK EXCERPT:

Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, bestselling authors of the scathingly funny Unusually Stupid Americans and Unusually Stupid Celebrities, now set their bipartisan sights on the hallowed halls of the United States government. Unusually Stupid Politicians exposes the mind-boggling but true political mishaps, missteps, and miscues that have even the savviest spin doctors shaking their heads and saying “No comment.” Sections include • Extreme Hairsplitting–such as when Florida governor Jeb Bush, after being accused of hiding in a closet from rampaging Democrats, denied the allegation completely, stating that “it was actually a boiler room” • Brilliant and Innovative Ideas from The Pentagon– like their groundbreaking "Gay Bomb," their "Bad Breath Inducing" halitosis weapon and their plans to enlist The Three Stooges in the fight against terror. • Creative Political Excuses——such as “I just discovered I’m Jewish and it’s a Holy Day,”——used by Senator George Allen, who, after learning of his Jewish heritage, got out of a Senate hearing to “observe” Yom Kippur • The Most Egregiously Large Political Egos–measured in standard Chuck Schumer Ego Units (CSEUs) This hilarious and eye-opening exposé gives awards for “How I Blew My Campaign” and “Worst Campaign Ad,” and shares a list of candidates “endorsed by God,” as well as a list of those who lost because of Satan. So turn off C-SPAN and quit text-messaging congressional pages–you’re about to learn what the definition of “is” is.

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Kathryn Petras
Publisher : Villard
Release : 2009-03-12
File : 306 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780307498502


Unusually Stupid Americans

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BOOK EXCERPT:

A hilarious collection of lists, statistics, news items, quotations, and facts detailing stupid acts of Americans from all walks of life—by the authors of the bestselling The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said Everyone knows that America is “the land of the free and the home of the brave,” but sometimes that means we’re free to be as bravely stupid as we want! In Unusually Stupid Americans, Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras assemble choice bits of stupidity, U.S.A.-style, including •the top seriously flawed American advertising moments, including Pacific Airlines’ brilliant “You’re scared of flying? So’s our pilot!” ad campaign, which led the airline to bankruptcy within two months of the campaign’s inception •the Martin Luther King, Jr., celebration in Florida, where a plaque was un-veiled that was intended to honor the actor James Earl Jones but instead read, “Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive” (an unfortunate slip-up, as James Earl Ray was King’s assassin) •and much more!

Product Details :

Genre : Humor
Author : Kathryn Petras
Publisher : Villard
Release : 2007-12-18
File : 305 Pages
ISBN-13 : 9780307417619